Essay - IT Was a Bad Day to be a Criminal. Two...

It was a bad day to be a CRIMINAL. Two POLICE OFFICERS showed up on my doorstep with ***** WARRANT to search my house. This ***** bad, as I had a b*****ement full of severed heads. They missed the ***** but found the weed under my sofa cushion. For this they decided to ARREST me. They read me my rights or what they called the MIRANDA WARNING and then brought ***** in.

I was glad that they didn't look any further. ***** certa*****ly had PROBABLE CAUSE to continue the SEARCH ***** SEIZURE of items of interest within my house. I ***** really hoping ***** they would screw up though so that ***** attorney could hit them with the EXCLUS*****ONARY RULE.

At my ARRAIGNMENT, I got to see ***** JUDGE who remembered me for a M*****SDEMEANOR drug ch*****rge last year. Though I was ***** GUILTY of Misde*****anor ***** possession in ***** last TRIAL, the Judge felt that the amount of weed I had this time indicated *****mething else. The charges read to me included the phrase FELONY drug trafficking. That is one phrase I ***** want to hear.

After the Arraign*****nt, my ATTORNEY explained ***** me ***** it would be best to cop a PLEA with the PROSECUTING *****. I was INNOCENT so I refused. I ********** worried about my imminent INCARCERATION in pr*****on or ***** ***** man calls my ***** in the DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS. No, I knew that my CRIME was minor and that ********** didn't have any hard EVIDENCE to use against me.

***** ***** ***** ***** favorite BAIL BONDSMAN, Jeff. Jeff is a good guy. He posted BAIL for me the time I went to trial ***** the CRIME of au***** theft. During that case I was still a JUVENILE ***** all I got ***** a slap on the wrist, a little PROBAT*****ON which ***** be t*****ken off my record if I was good. I *****n't good. *****'ve been a primary SUSPECT in over thirty cases throughout my life.

Sometimes I get out of trouble and sometimes ***** get ***** of jail on bond and *****n am sitting at a PRELIMINARY HEARING before the end ***** the month to see wh***** they've got. Sometimes I'm CROSS-EXAMINED at these hearings ***** sometimes ***** not. If they think I've done it, they send me off to the GRAND JURY.

After ***** *****to thing, the next time I went ***** a JURY - for a little case of assault - I knew one ***** the JURORS. This fact was not presented to the powers th***** be early enough and the case ended in a MIS*****. That particular Juror should have ***** presented with a CHALLENGE FOR *****. Oh well. It w*****s kind of funny that I was standing *****re watching the PEREMPTORY CHALLENGES and just pretending like there was nothing wrong.

The Judge decided that I should be tried again. The second time around the Jury could not decide whether I'd done it or *****. The case ***** in a