Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

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Practical Book Review

Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using James C. Peterson's 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, I know how ***** communicate—I ***** how to talk, and I can hear everyth*****g people say ***** me, what more do I need to do? Why do ***** need to read a book, in isolation, ***** the privacy of my study that attempts to tell ***** how I should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a reaction to the title of ***** ***** We Listen Better? ***** ***** ***** in ***** by James *****. Petersen (2007) should remember that there is a difference between listening and hearing, between really engaging with ***** in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts ***** give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach ***** be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a rel*****tionship who wants to improve his or her ***** skills.

The book begins ***** examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts ***** the work is that the ***** emotional people are, and the more emotionally attached they are to a p*****rticular point of view, the harder it is for them to l*****ten. Their listening capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls t***** the 'flat brain theory' of listening, w*****e stomachs are in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals of others. The courtroom process ***** adversarial interaction ***** than a ***** negoti*****tion of common *****s are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they are in reality lose-lose. Using the courtroom approach is counterproductive to our usual, ***** goal when communicating. *****n everyday l*****e our primary goal is not to be victors over others, but friends ***** ***** neighbors, loved ones, ***** colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships ***** all essential to counteract our fallible and all-too-human tendency to fall in***** negative cultural and personal patterns ***** relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us better s*****rytellers and better *****

Peterson offers what he ***** the ***** card or a kind of imaginary or invisible third person, a medi*****t***** to initiate dialogue ***** division. Playing by ***** rules ***** the conversational game, taking turns, ***** not engaging in a war like street fighters all ensure ***** ***** individuals engaged in the communicative process are listen*****g as well as talking. Peterson makes communication in***** a very liter*****l game, with accessories ***** well as rules. During his ********** *****shops, he takes manila *****s and writes t***** word '*****alker' and 'listener' on either side. This creates a sense of role-pl*****y to conversation—one person is ***** fixed in a s*****gular role of listening or talking, which ***** results


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