Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

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Practical Book Review

***** on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. ***** 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, I know how to communicate—I ***** how to talk, and I can hear everything people say to me, what more do I need to do? Why do ***** need ***** read a book, in isol*****tion, ***** the privacy of my study that attempts to tell ***** how I should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a reaction ***** the title of ***** ***** We Listen Better? ***** and *****onnecting in ***** by James C. Petersen (2007) should remember ***** there is a difference between listening ***** hearing, between really engaging with others in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts to give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach ***** be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a rel*****tionship who wants to improve his or her communication skills.

The book begins ***** examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts of the work is that the ***** emotional people are, and the more emotionally attached they are ***** a particular point of view, the harder it is for them to listen. Their ********** capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls this the 'flat brain *****ory' of listening, w*****e stomachs ***** in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals of others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction rather than a ***** negotiation of common views are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they ***** in reality lose-lose. Using the courtroom approach is counterproductive to our usual, ***** goal when communicating. In everyday l*****e our primary ***** ***** not ***** be victors over others, but friends with our neighbors, loved ones, and colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships are all essential to counteract our fallible ***** all-too-human tendency to fall in***** negative cultural and personal patterns ***** relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us *****tter storytellers and better people

Peterson offers what he ***** t***** ***** card or a kind of imaginary or invisible third person, a mediator to initiate dialogue not division. Playing by the rules ***** the conversational game, taking turns, and not ***** in a war like street fighters all ensure ***** the ********** engaged in the communicative ***** ***** listen*****g as well ***** talking. Peterson ***** communication into a very literal *****, ***** accessories as well ***** *****. During his communications *****shops, he takes manila cards and writes t***** word 'talker' ***** 'listener' on either side. This creates a sense of role-pl*****y to conversation—one person is ***** fixed in a s*****gular role of listening or talking, which often results


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