Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

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Practical Book Review

***** on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. ***** 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, I know how ***** communicate—I ***** how to talk, and I can hear everything people say to me, what more do I need to do? Why do I need to read a book, in isolation, in the privacy of my study that attempts ***** tell me how ***** should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a re*****ction to the title of ***** ***** We Listen Better? *****ommunicating and ***** in ***** by Ja*****s C. Petersen (2007) should remember ***** there is a difference between listening *****nd hearing, ***** really engaging with ***** in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts ***** give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach ***** be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a relationship who wants to improve his or her communication skills.

The book begins ***** examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts of the work is that the more emotional people are, and the ***** emotionally attached they are to a p*****rticular point ***** view, the harder it is for them to listen. Their *****ing capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls t***** the 'flat brain *****ory' of listening, where stomachs are in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike ***** unresponsive to the emotional appeals ***** others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction ***** than a ***** negotiation of common *****s are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they ***** in reality lose-lose. Using the courtroom approach is counterproductive to our usual, primary goal when communicating. In everyday life our primary goal is not to be victors over others, but friends with ***** neighbors, loved ones, and colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships are all essential to counteract our fallible ***** all-too-human tendency to fall in***** negative cultural and personal patterns of relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us better s*****rytellers and ***** people

Peterson offers what he calls the 'talker-listener' card or a kind of imaginary or invisible third person, a medi*****t***** to initiate dialogue not division. Playing by ***** rules of the conversational game, taking turns, and not ***** in a war like street fighters all ensure ***** the ***** engaged ***** the communicative ***** ***** listening as well as talking. Peterson ***** communication in***** a very literal game, with accessories ***** well as rules. During his *****s *****shops, he takes manila *****s and writes the word 'talker' ***** 'listener' on ei*****r side. This creates a sense of role-play to conversation—one person is not fixed in a singular role of listening or talking, which ***** results


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