Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...


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Practical Book Review

Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. ***** 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, ***** know how ***** communicate—I ***** how to talk, and I can hear everyth*****g people say to me, what more do I need to do? Why do I need to read a book, in isolation, in the privacy of my study that attempts to tell me how I should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a reaction to the title of ***** Don't We Listen Better? *****ommunicating ***** ***** in Relationships by James C. Petersen (2007) should remember ***** there is a difference between listening and hearing, ***** really engaging with ***** in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts ***** give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach can be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a rel*****tionship who wants to ***** his or her ***** skills.

The book begins by examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts ***** the work is that the ***** emotional people are, ***** the more emotionally attached they are to a p*****rticular point of view, the harder it is for them to listen. Their listening capability, if not their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls this the 'flat brain *****ory' of listening, w*****e stomachs are in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals ***** others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction rather than a ***** negotiation of common *****s ***** the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they are in reality lose-lose. ***** the courtroom approach is counterproductive ***** our usual, ***** goal when communicating. *****n everyday life our primary goal ***** not to be victors over others, but friends ***** our neighbors, loved ones, ***** colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships ***** all essential to counteract our fallible and all-too-human tendency to fall in***** negative cultural and personal patterns ***** relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us better s*****rytellers ***** better people

Peterson offers what he calls the ***** card or a kind of im*****ginary or invisible third person, a medi*****tor to initiate ***** ***** division. Playing ***** the rules ***** the conversational game, taking turns, and not ***** in a war like street fighters all ensure that ***** ***** engaged ***** the communicative process are listening as well ***** talking. Peterson makes communication into a very liter*****l *****, with accessories as well as rules. During his ********** *****shops, he takes manila cards and writes the word 'talker' ***** 'listener' on either side. This creates a sense of role-play to conversation—one person is ***** fixed in a singular role of listening or talking, which often results

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