Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

Practical Book Review

Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. ***** 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, I know how ***** communicate—I know how to talk, and I can hear everyth*****g people say to me, what more do I need to do? Why do I need to read a book, in isol*****tion, in the privacy of my study that attempts ***** tell ***** how ***** should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a reaction to the title of Why Don't We Listen Better? ***** ***** ***** in Relationships by James C. Petersen (2007) should remember that there is a difference between listening and hearing, ***** really engaging with others in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts ***** give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach can be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a relationship who wants to improve his or her ***** skills.

The book begins by examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts of the work is that the more emotional people are, ***** the ***** emotionally attached they are ***** a particular point ***** view, the harder it is for them to l*****ten. Their listening capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls t***** the 'flat brain theory' of listening, w*****e stomachs ***** in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals ***** others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction ***** than a ***** negotiation of common views are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they are in reality lose-lose. Using the courtroom approach is counterproductive ***** our usual, primary goal when communicating. In everyday life our primary ***** is not to be victors over others, but friends ***** our neighbors, loved ones, ***** colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships are all essential to counteract our fallible and all-too-human tendency to fall into negative cultural and personal patterns of relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us better storytellers and ***** people

Peterson offers what he calls t***** ***** card or a kind of im*****ginary or invisible ********** person, a medi*****t***** to initiate dialogue ***** division. Playing ***** the rules of the conversational game, taking turns, ***** not engaging in a war like street fighters all ensure that ***** ***** engaged ***** the communicative process are listening as well ***** talking. Peterson makes communication into a very literal *****, with accessories as well ***** rules. During his communications workshops, he takes manila cards and writes the word 'talker' and 'listener' on ei*****r side. This creates a sense of role-play to conversation—one person is not fixed in a singular role of listening or talking, which ***** results