Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

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Practical Book Review

***** on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. Peterson's 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, I know how ***** communicate—I ***** how to talk, and I can hear everything people say ***** me, what more do I need to do? Why do ***** need to read a book, in isol*****tion, in the privacy of my study that attempts ***** tell ***** how I should communicate with others? However, individuals who have such a re*****ction to the title of Why Don't We ***** Better? *****ommunicating ***** Connecting in Relationships by James C. Petersen (2007) should remember that there is a difference between listen*****g and hearing, between really engaging with others in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts to give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach ***** be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a rel*****tionship who wants to ***** his or her communication skills.

The book begins ***** examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts of the work is that the more emotional people are, and the ***** emotionally attached they are ***** a p*****rticular point ***** view, the harder it is for them to listen. Their listening capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls t***** the 'flat brain theory' of *****, where stomachs are in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals ***** others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction rather than a ***** negotiation of common *****s are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they ***** in reality lose-lose. Using the courtroom approach is counterproductive to our usual, ***** goal when communicating. *****n everyday l*****e our primary ***** is not ***** be victors over others, but friends ***** ***** neighbors, loved ones, and colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships are all essential to counteract our fallible ***** all-too-human tendency to fall into negative cultural and personal patterns ***** relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us ********** storytellers ***** better people

Peterson offers what he ***** t***** '*****alker-listener' card or a kind of im*****ginary or invisible third person, a medi*****t***** to initiate ***** ***** division. Playing by the rules of the conversational game, taking turns, and not ***** in a war like street fighters all ensure ***** ***** ***** engaged ***** the communicative process are listening as well as talking. Peterson ***** communication in***** a very literal *****, with accessories ***** well as *****. During his ********** *****shops, he takes manila cards and writes the word 'talker' ***** 'listener' on ei*****r side. This creates a sense of role-play to conversation—one person is ***** fixed in a s*****gular role of listening or talking, which ***** results


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