Essay - Practical Book Review Reflections on James C. Peterson's Why Don't...

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Practical Book Review

***** on James C. Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

Introduction: "Hey, that's not what I meant!" Using ***** C. ***** 'talker-listener' card to engage in productive dialogue

Of course, ***** know how ***** communicate—I know how to talk, and I can hear everyth*****g people say ***** me, what more do I need to do? Why do I need to read a book, in isol*****tion, in the privacy of my study that attempts to tell me how I should communicate with others? However, ********** who have such a reaction to the title of Why ***** We ***** Better? ***** and Connecting in ***** by Ja*****s C. Petersen (2007) should remember that there is a difference between listening ***** hearing, between really engaging with ***** in meaningful communication versus simply exchanging words. Peterson's text attempts ***** give the reader effective strategies to improve personal communication processes. His approach can be useful to pastors, counselors, teachers, or simply everyone involved in a rel*****tionship who wants to improve his or her communication skills.

The book begins ***** examining why communication processes so often go awry. One of the core concepts of the work is that the ***** emotional people are, and the more emotionally attached they are to a p*****rticular point of view, the harder it is for them to l*****ten. Their listening capability, if ***** their hearing capability shuts down. Peterson calls t***** the 'flat brain *****ory' of *****, w*****e stomachs ***** in overload, filled with ego rather than openness. This causes hearts grow bricklike and unresponsive to the emotional appeals ***** others. The courtroom process of adversarial interaction ***** than a ***** negotiation of common views are the primary paradigm of our modern culture. While courtroom battles may look like win-lose, they ***** in reality lose-lose. ***** the courtroom approach is counterproductive to our usual, primary goal when communicating. *****n everyday life our primary ***** is not ***** be victors over others, but friends with our neighbors, loved ones, ***** colleagues. Reducing ***** disturbances, clarifying thinking, increasing self-confidence, and building supportive friendships are all essential to counteract our fallible and all-too-human tendency to fall in***** negative cultural and personal patterns ***** relating to others. Becoming a good listener reduces conflict and also makes us better storytellers ***** better *****

Peterson offers what he ***** the ***** card or a kind of imaginary or invisible third person, a mediat***** to initiate dialogue ***** division. Playing by ***** rules of the conversational game, taking turns, and not ***** in a war like street fighters all ensure that the individuals engaged in the communicative process ***** listen*****g as well ***** talking. Peterson ***** communication in***** a very liter*****l *****, ***** accessories as well ***** rules. During his *****s workshops, he takes manila *****s and writes the word 'talker' ***** 'listener' on either side. This creates a sense of role-play to conversation—one person is not fixed in a s*****gular role ***** listening or talking, which ***** results


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