Essay - Review: the Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with...

Review: The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America's Changing Families

***** her book ***** Way We Really Are: Coming ***** Terms with America's Changing Families, which is partially a continuation and response to critic*****m of her older *****, The ***** We Never *****re, Stephanie Coontz examines the current state--or, as ***** suggests would be more accurate, states--***** the American family. A his*****rian by nature and training, according to the book's introduction, Coontz examines the family structure from a historical and sociological perspective, noting and clarifying the changes to our institutions and perceptions that are currently shaping families ***** the debates surrounding *****m. Though a decade old, this book still rings true on almost every page, with the issues discussed and ***** various sides of the argument Coontz lists as recognizable today ***** ********** were when first written.

The fact ***** this book has remained so current signals that the confusion and stagnation that ***** so accessibly describes is still just as present ***** as it was in the late 1990s, ***** that l*****tle progress ***** been made ***** redefining or even understanding the nature of ***** family in our post-industrial age. It could ***** be fair to posit that Coontz might think we have taken a step backwards on issues such as same-sex marriage and other familial limitations since ***** book was first published. One thing ***** Coontz very consciously does not do, however, is moralize; in *****, moralization ***** one ***** the th*****gs--perhaps ***** main thing--that she credits with the warped view of his*****rical family life that many, particularly ***** political right, hold onto as a cherished dre*****m for the future.

Her ***** ***** dealt more directly with this falsely optimistic ***** utopian ***** of ***** "*****merican Family" through the ages. In this text, as the title suggests, Coontz shifts her attention to the realities that face the American family today. In nine chapters, ***** "Getting Past The Sound Bites: How History and Sociology can Help Today's *****" to "***** Future of Marriage" to ***** ominously titled "Working ***** What We've Got," Coontz details the historical paths and complex interplays ***** gender roles, sexuality, economic progression, and "traditional" values that have created the hodge-podge of lifestyles and ideals practiced and adhered to ***** American families ********** (or at least as recently ***** the book's publication). The common thread throughout the book--***** main sociological problem Coontz sees in our current concept of what the ***** is and should *****--is an insistent belief that the ***** happy family of working Dad, stay at home Mom, ***** well-behaved Bro and Sis actually existed at ***** point, and that it created greater societal harmony and personal fulfillment.

Coontz points out the ***** and sociological flaws in arguments that rely on this ***** of the traditi*****al, and even reveals some outright deceptions practiced by certain groups, especially conservatives, in tout*****g moral platforms ***** capitalize on this mis***** image of the family. For example, she notes that "members ***** groups such as