Essay - Perhaps It Is Because I Speak Two Languages That I...

Perhaps it is because I speak two languages that I feel I inhabit two different identities. Or are the reasons for my feeling this way more complex? ********** is difficult to say, but I do know that although I am only one person, inhabiting ***** body and one mind, in many ways, I feel I live in two different worlds, with ***** different *****. My language is ***** than a voc*****bulary, the words that I use to describe things. Language for me forms a key p*****rt of the person I am and the way ***** see the world. I am bilingual but also bicultural.

One of the cle*****st ***** I inhabit two ***** ***** two different identities is ***** name. My real name is Restituto. But you, the American reader ***** ***** es*****, will better ***** me as Rusty. In America, everyone calls me Rusty. I chose this A*****rican nickname for myself ***** when I came here my real name *****med very ***** for e*****one to pronounce. The difficulty people had with such a basic part of *****self, my name, was one of the first 'clues' I had how different my life would be ***** I ***** from ***** Philippines to America.

***** the Philippines, my ***** was quite ordinary; it ***** something I took ***** granted. I never considered it difficult to pronounce. No one I knew ***** it difficult to pronounce. In *****, however, whenever my name is read as ***** of a l*****t and someone is unfamiliar with me, I al*****s know when ***** name is about ***** be called *************** I can see a strange, confused expression coming over the person's face.

Rest-res..." *****y will say.

A must shake my head. "Just call me Rusty," I *****.

This scenario never happens to me in the Philippines. ***** the *****, the name Restituto is no more or less common than John or James is here.

For awhile, ***** considered changing ***** legal name to Rusty. When I became naturalized citizen, I thought, ***** should. I told myself, I am leaving so much of a part ***** my cu*****ure, ***** nation, behind, perhaps I should try to shake off that old part of myself, ***** old identity that seemed to be unpro*****unceable in America, ***** of "*****." When ***** tried to explain ***** to my mo*****r, she disagreed. She *****ed that she and my father had given me that *****, lovingly ***** me when I was born. She told me that ***** name ***** *****e than a name, more than a word. My name was part of my identity, ***** of ***** connection to my native heritage and ***** the history of my family. In cutting ***** off to that part of my history, my mother said, I was ***** myself ***** to my identity. ***** still, ***** ***** agreed with her, I wondered—what room did the United States have for 'Restituto?' In the United States, could I only find room, ***** a place for the identity *****