Term Paper: Homosexual Interview

Pages: 12 (4037 words)  ·  Bibliography Sources: 1+  ·  Level: College Senior  ·  Topic: Women's Issues - Sexuality  ·  Buy This Paper

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[. . .] A: Same here then: I didn't know I was "gay," because I didn't know what "straight" and "gay" were, either, when I was little.

Probably around the exact same time you were pretending you didn't like little girls I was pretending I didn't like little boys

(Laughs again). The difference is it became cool to like girls around fifth grade, right? Well, it never became "cool" for me to like guys. I had the same impulses and "crushes" that you did, only mine were toward other boys. I don't remember exactly how I knew that it was different or "wrong" but I knew even back

then it was something I couldn't tell anybody. And I thought I

was the only kid in the world with those feelings.

Q: OK, so when did you first "come out," then?

A: Well, I was extremely lucky that I have great parents that I always felt I could talk to as far back as I can remember. I was about nine or ten when other kids started talking about "homos" and "gay" or whatever, OK? That's when I realized that A. There was a name for whatever I was and there were other people like me, and B. That it was definitely not a cool thing to admit. I participated in calling other kids "fags" and "homos" ... not even that we had any suspicions that anybody was actually homosexual ... But I mean just as a put-down of other kids in a general sense. In my case though, I remember doing it consciously, specifically because once I knew that I was "gay" I was afraid that if I didn't participate in using the term like the other kids, they'd realize why.

Q: Do you think your own early feelings about your sexual preference has anything to do with the way you still use terms like "faggot" or "queer" ?

(This question appears to irritate the subject slightly.)

A: No, Bro', not at all. I hate it when people assume I'm expressing some "self-loathing" or shit like that when I call some obnoxious total faggot exactly what he is. (Laughs) Listen, I'm 100%

comfortable with my sexuality, which is why I choose to be open about it, OK? I date gay men, so I don't dislike them for being gay,

OK? (Laughs) By the way, it's not exactly a "sexual preference"

either, but let me answer your question first. I don't have anything against other gay men, or for that matter, against my own race, either. I already explained how a lot of the difference between someone like me and someone I refer to as a "queer" or whatever is affectation, right? Well, in my opinion, those types of gay males are responsible for much of the prejudice that normal men like me who just happen to be gay experience in society. Obviously, there are some homophobes that would hate anybody gay either way, just for being gay OK? Just like there are plenty of racially bigoted people who'd hate me for being black, regardless how well educated and respectable a person I happen to be. To me, that's a "constant" and there's nothing you can do about ignorant hateful people like that.

But the way I look at it, there's also an "audience" in the middle, so to speak. By that I mean someone who is inclined to treat all people with respect, regardless of their racial heritage or sexual

"preference" as you say. (Winks) It is my belief that some people who disrespect me for being black do so as a function of constant exposure to all the "niggers" they see all over TV rapping about

"bitches" and "ho's" and all their idiot proteges everywhere, slinging dope, talkin' that stupid ghetto "Ebonics," and basically emulating the "thug life" and all that other bullshit that's a disgrace to any decent, self-respecting black person.

(By the intensity of his expression and voice, it is very clear that the subject feels quite strongly about this issue.)

It's the exact same way I feel about flaming faggots. There's always going to be plenty of closed minded bigots who would hate me for being gay even if they liked me for months before finding out.

Like with the racists, there's nothing you can do about those types,

OK? I don't worry about them. But I gotta' admit that when I see overly effeminate affected gay men manifesting every single stereotypically gay mannerism, I resent it the same way I resent niggers and for precisely the same reason. I suffer from the prejudice they inspire on the part of people who probably would have no issue with my sexual "preference," if gay men just conducted themselves more normally in everyday situations.

Q: You keep stressing the word "preference"; do you want to get back to that?

A: Yeah, thanks. "Preference" implies that you have some degree of choice or that you have some other "alternative," right? When

you're gay you have exactly as much "choice" as a heterosexual person does over his or her "preference." People breath air and fish extract oxygen from water through gills, OK? To me, referring to a gay person's sexual "preference" makes as little sense as saying that we breathe air and fish breath water by preference. It's not a preference, it's a reality of biology.

Q: Do you believe that homosexuality is indeed biologically determined?

A: Generally, yes but not always. Many gay people, myself included, knew they were different as far back as they can remember. As I

said before, I was drawn to boys at the same age (and in the same exact way) you were drawn to little girls. Now, I do believe that a person can be influenced toward homosexuality by trauma and abuse in the same way heterosexuals can be influenced toward frigidity or promiscuity by external environmental factors. Human psychosexual

development is very complicated and all sorts of cues in early life play a role in determining what types of things one finds erotic, whether that means a so-called fetish for feet, or hands, or bondage and domination, or whatever. I believe there are people representing the entire spectrum of sexual "preference" from those at the polar ends, incapable of being influenced in either direction to people whose predilections toward heterosexuality or homosexuality has some flexibility in relation to external factors. Sometimes a male child becomes gay after a traumatic exposure or abuse by an adult male. Other times, the same circumstances has no such affect on sexual orientation. Even in the first case, one can't really ever know for sure what the abused child's orientation would have been without the abuse. The mere fact that so many people express a gay orientation so early in life and the evidence of homosexuality in the animal world would seem to indicate rather strongly that there is, at the very least, a very strong biological component to sexual orientation. I don't believe that someone who "feels" gay at an early

age can ever be "changed" to become heterosexual, but I think there's enough anecdotal evidence that sometimes, external influences and so forth can open a homosexual window, so to speak, in someone who might very well have been completely heterosexual, otherwise.

Q: You never finished explaining about your own coming out before

A: Oh, Ok. Well, the summer after I realized that I was gay, I didn't want to go to summer camp because I was afraid the other kids would figure it out. My mother basically said that she wouldn't make me go to sleep away camp if I told her why I felt so strongly about it. To make a long story short, I eventually told my mom how I knew I was

"different" from other boys and that I knew the word for it, too.

Looking back on it, I know she was definitely taken aback by it, but she was great about it. She explained that I was still "normal" and stuff like that, and I remember that we discussed it several times. She promised not to tell my father until I agreed, but obviously, they discussed it between themselves from day one, which I understand now, of course. (Laughs)

Q: So your parents were very understanding. Do you think that played a big role in how you learned to accept your own "differences"?

A: Yeah, absolutely. That's probably the main reason that my sexual orientation has never really been that much of an "issue" in my life. I

played sports in high school and I had good friends. I always had a good "cover story" about a girlfriend out of state, but I had a close circle of straight friends who knew the truth. I think I was extremely fortunate in that I always felt good about myself and my self-esteem wasn't affected adversely by feelings of guilt or shame that seems… [END OF PREVIEW]

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Homosexual Interview.  (2004, April 30).  Retrieved June 16, 2019, from https://www.essaytown.com/subjects/paper/homosexual-interview-subject/5052679

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"Homosexual Interview."  Essaytown.com.  April 30, 2004.  Accessed June 16, 2019.
https://www.essaytown.com/subjects/paper/homosexual-interview-subject/5052679.