Research Paper: Overly Protective Parents

Pages: 10 (3246 words)  ·  Bibliography Sources: 8  ·  Level: Master's  ·  Topic: Children  ·  Buy This Paper

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[. . .] The parents should know when to step into the life of a child; they should learn when to assist their child and when to let it go. It is painful to see a child in a difficult situation, but parents should understand that this is the only way the child grows positively. Parents should let the children experience different things in life even if its pain for a while because parents are not gods, and may not be around to help them or tell them how to act, therefore the child should be able to handle different situations on his/her own.

Parents also have to accept them as they are, with their strengths and weaknesses. When one wants to have a child, it is to feel beautiful and be happy. But what if that child is born with problems and has difficulties to adapt to everyday life? Even in cases like this, it is advisable for parents to be strong and let their children deal with their disabilities on their own so that they can take care of themselves in the future even if their parents are not around.

Parents should also keep in mind that needs that they had which were not fulfilled in their childhood are not necessarily their child's needs also. Therefore, parents who are extra conscious about some particular needs of their children (which were their own needs in their childhood) should be taken lightly and not to be taken on the nerves. For example, if a parent wanted to be a young pianists and then became one, and come to know that perhaps his/her child will not be a pianist also, maybe because he/she likes some other activity or sport should respect his/her opinion, listen and understand, whether or not what the parent had dreamed it to be (Flouri, Buchanan, 2002).

Reasons Why Parents Should Not Be Overprotective

Often, some parents unconsciously, tend to make a barrier between the children and their problems, to prevent them from pain and suffering. They do not realize that with this attitude their children feel that is that their coping strategies are not working out and thus they leave to even try to solve their problems because they feel that they are not good enough or smart enough to deal or solve their problems (Flouri, Buchanan, 2002).

It is true that children are born very helpless and need the love of their parents to develop as a person, but growing up means, depending on their age, achieving some successes such as:

Gain their independence

Develop strategies to resolve conflicts and difficulties

Tolerate frustration: Things are not always when you want and how you want, therefore, one should have the courage and strength to accept the joys and failures.

Have some freedom to make decisions and accept the consequences.

Avoiding Overprotection

Parents often justify their over protective actions by saying that it is for their convenience, and that they have no time, and so on. There may be a thousand excuses, but the truth is that it is all very dangerous for the children's development, learning and future. These children become dependent even as adults, insecure in their actions, hard to deal with for others, have difficulty facing tough situations etc. This results in requiring many years to mature, to take responsibility for their actions, and deal with their responsibilities. All of this is not learned at once, since learning starts from the time a child is born. Although there are no guidelines to educate our children, the only way to help them overcome the difficulties they face is by leaving them on their own to deal with the difficulties since childhood (Flouri, Buchanan, 2002). If parents try to be over protective, and try to solve all their problem before the child has even tried then the child will never learn to deal with any problem and it will become a habit.

The children should get a feeling from their parents that their parents believe in them, and they can instill this idea in their children by making things increasingly difficult for them right from their early childhood. And if children are wrong, that too should be learned. Therefore, the child must be helped to find new solutions to their problems and assume that he can do and get what he wants but there are limits. How the parents help the child in this process?

Convey affection, confidence in their abilities and understanding of the difficulties.

Ask clear and consistent limits.

Help in finding strategies to solve their problems.

Ask the child for solution to problems so that he/she can learn to think on his/her own.

Impact of Overprotection on Children

There are many consequences of overprotective parenting on the children. Children grow up having trouble getting along with everyone, these children have trouble recognizing many authority figures starting with their parents, teachers, principal, and anyone seeking to lead them, they become extremely self-centered. They are always on the lookout for the fulfillment of their own needs no matter what. They have failure in relationships because they are so self absorbed and self righteous that no one can live up to their expectations (Flouri, Buchanan, 2002). They very dependent on their parents regardless of age and still their parents insist that their children should need them, and the most unfortunate impact of overprotection of parents is that the overprotected children become aggressive with their parents; they are humiliated, mistreated, beaten, abandoned, mocked at etc.

Indicators Which Can Help Parents

There are many indicators that can serve as help for the parents so that they know that they are not over protecting their children, some of the most obvious are: (Cloud, Townsend, 2001)

• See if they commit an error or have any apologies, tend to stumble and project their responsibility on peers and teachers, or whether the parents talk to them about their behavior.

• Analyze situations if parents tend to avoid them which the parents think may find it difficult to resolve conflicting or, if on the contrary, parents seek to prepare for them.

• See if parents anticipate fulfilling often demands that have not yet requested such as toys, treats, entertainment, etc.

• Think if parents are fostering in their children the most childish behavior that corresponds to their age because they may have difficulty accepting that they are growing.

Child Counseling

Counseling is very important for children who have been under the influence of overly protective parent (s). Over protection by parent (s) has a various negative effects on the children and it is the job of the counselors to find out ways to eliminate those negative effects from the children (s) personality. Children usually do not respond to counseling interventions which based on treating adults. For children special counseling techniques are required. In order to deal with children, counselors need to integrate counseling techniques which make use of children's literature and visual art. These techniques should be solution focused and should be creative in nature so that children do not get bored of it (Lewis & Osborn, 2004).

Solution focused counseling techniques are meant for all age groups but can be altered specifically for children (Leggett, 2008). Solution focused techniques make use of the inner strengths of the children and using those strengths, the counselor tries to make positive changes in child's life. Solution focused counseling usually makes use of the talk therapy but this kind of therapy is not useful for children and adolescents because young people cannot express themselves openly through this type of therapy, because they tend to express more through non-verbal means. Therefore, counselors must make use of children's literature and visual arts techniques in order to counsel children who have been under the influence of overprotective parents (s).

In this kind of technique the child's literature or text normally gives a complete story of the child using words and visual pictures which portray the important experiences of a child which are used by the counselors to interpret the whole situation and the problem of the child.

Conclusion

A parent-child relationship based on overprotection has more harm than good because the kids will get a hard time in reaching maturity. Also prevent a child to learn on his/her own and respond spontaneously to situations that arise along the evolutionary process can lead to:

• The decline in personal security.

• Serious difficulties to tolerate the frustrations and disappointments.

• Greater attachment to their parents that later can be generalized in any conduct.

• Children who are greedy and want everything they desire and the things they ask for are compulsive and pointless.

• A withdrawal or inhibition of behavior that hinders their social relationships (do not like to go camping, have difficulty playing or talking with other children of their age cannot cope with new situations.)

Therefore, before we turn our children into insecure, reserved, and dependent individuals, we must pay attention to their development right from their early… [END OF PREVIEW]

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Overly Protective Parents.  (2012, April 20).  Retrieved March 26, 2019, from https://www.essaytown.com/subjects/paper/overly-protective-parents/1242310

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"Overly Protective Parents."  Essaytown.com.  April 20, 2012.  Accessed March 26, 2019.
https://www.essaytown.com/subjects/paper/overly-protective-parents/1242310.