Term Paper: Theology Sexuality: Describe a Positive

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[. . .] Who helped you through this passage and how was it finally concluded?

There were several avenues that I turned to in my search for a solution. One, I spoke to my parents about the problem I was facing and heard them out when they counseled me that supporting a friend worked two ways. That my friend, too, needed to understand that she was demanding a personal sacrifice on my part that could possibly compromise my future career goals. This was key to the two of us reaching a compromise, and if the relationship was to mature. Unfortunately, the friend in question was going through a passage in her own life, which was proving to be too traumatic for her. The loss of a parent, the break up of a romantic relationship, and financial problems that were placing a big question mark on her own professional goals. As such, she needed a friend to hold her hand constantly, which was something that I simply could not do without sacrificing my own student and professional goals. Nevertheless, I did try to make her understand and reach some kind of agreement on how much time I could spare. In fact, for a while, I sacrificed all the rest time I had to try and juggle between all the demands on my time. Finally, I realized that the resultant stress was beginning to affect my concentration and health. It was at this point in time that I also happened to come across an article on Visions of Maturity by Carol Gilligan, which helped me realize that I had to choose between nurturing an attachment and being true to my own self. But the fact is to do so, the young idealistic girl had to die for the grown woman to emerge; a woman who understood that without pain, there was no gain and that every person had to ultimately work towards taking responsibility for themselves.

Besides being a "life passage," was there also the possibility of spiritual growth in it? As you look back on this important transition, can you sense God at work in it? Was there some force outside (or inside) yourself leading you to change and grow?

Yes, I do believe that this particular "life passage" was also a period of personal spiritual growth. Had I refused to accommodate a friend's needs purely because I preferred to spend my leisure hours in fun and entertainment rather than in comforting a friend, I would have been purely self-indulgent. But the fact is that the choice I faced was between a vocation where I hoped to spend a lifetime in service of the sick and needy and the needs of just one person. Thus, the sacrifice of one person for hopefully the benefit of many, made the decision to let go worthwhile besides teaching me that personal sacrifice was always going to be called for by my vocation. This meant a conscious decision to place the needs of humanity ahead of my own personal needs and the needs of family and friends. Looking back, I certainly think that God was at work here. First, in enabling such an experience early on in my vocation, which helped me understand the demands and reconfirm that the medical profession was indeed my vocation. Secondly, as a pre-medical student, I already had the benefit of an outside force helping me make up my mind in terms of all the suffering I was witnessing on a daily basis. And by suffering, I am referring to not just the patients but the suffering of their families and dear ones as well. Thus, the presence of this outside force helped me choose between working towards easing a far more serious problem caused by circumstances beyond the control of the patients and their loved ones and the easing of my own pain and that of a friend, which to my mind was well within our control to resolve. For, simply put, it was a question of facing life with courage and equanimity instead of giving in to self-pity and taking the easy way out. Harsh words to use to describe a friend's pain but I think, objective ones. As for an inside force at work, the only way I can describe it is that it was a kind of certainty, a knowledge that working to restore patients' health was my life's purpose and mission, which had to be fulfilled as God's work and what I was perhaps created to do.

What was the grace of this passage - the surprising ability to let go of some part of yourself (the ability to die to yourself so that a new reality could be born)?

The grace of this passage lay in the realization that there is always some gain to be had from painful situations, which strengthens a person's understanding of life and ability to handle it as long as one is guided by certain spiritual principles such as choosing between the needs of the few vs. The needs of many or that too much sympathy and mollycoddling can actually work towards the detriment of a loved one's psychological well-being.

Did you sense the need for inner courage to face a new stage in your life?

Yes, there was a clear need for inner courage in order to face the pain of being accused of not being a true friend. In addition, I sensed that I was going to need a great deal of inner courage right through my career as I was likely to face the same kind of choices between personal needs and the demands of my work over and over again.

Were you amazed at the "new life" that resulted from your (eventual) willingness to "let go" and die to yourself?

Indeed, the right word is amazing. Once I was clear about my choices and the rightness or wrongness about each, I felt clearheaded, strong, and convinced about the path I had to take. The clarity of vision and the determination was a totally new experience for me as until then I had faced many a doubt and some amount of uncertainty about my own ability to be dedicated to my chosen work.

Section C - Generativity

Describe an event in which you engaged yourself with generativity

As a premedical student, I often volunteer at a nearby hospital. It was during one such visit that I came across a young six-year-old girl in the visitor's lounge. She seemed all alone and was just sitting there quietly clutching at her doll. Now, as policy, children were not permitted in the hospital cancer ward. Yet, here was this little girl. Curious, I enquired with the nurse on duty about her and discovered that the hospital had made an exception in her case, as there was no one to take care of her while her mother, a cancer patient, was in hospital. Further, her mother could not afford day care. So, the little girl stayed in the hospital when she was not attending school. Moved by the little one's plight, I visited her mother and found a parent distraught over the fact that her child was more or less on her own though the hospital staff were doing their best to ensure that she ate regularly and had access to recreational material from the children's ward. The child's mother was even more frantic that soon the social worker attached to the hospital would be notified and that the child would be taken away and placed in foster care. At first, all I did was listen in sympathy and try to comfort the ill, distraught woman. But that evening I simply could not get either the mother or the child out of my mind. In fact, I found it hard to concentrate on my studies. I kept wondering if there wasn't anything I could do to take care of the child and thereby give her mother at least a measure of peace. Now, the fact was that I was already putting in 18-hour days between classes, my volunteer work at the hospital and my studies. Given my schedule, I really did not see what I could do other than spend time with the little girl while I was in the hospital. The next day I set out to do exactly that when I learnt that the hospital had indeed decided that it was in the child's best interests to notify the social worker. Needless to say, the mother was frantic and positively making herself even more ill with worry. It was then that I decided to offer to take care of the child in spite of my knowing that it meant missing classes and study time for an indeterminate amount of time.

What processes led you to the respective decision to be generative?

Though I… [END OF PREVIEW]

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Theology Sexuality: Describe a Positive.  (2004, March 18).  Retrieved April 22, 2019, from https://www.essaytown.com/subjects/paper/theology-sexuality-describe-positive/4114112

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"Theology Sexuality: Describe a Positive."  Essaytown.com.  March 18, 2004.  Accessed April 22, 2019.
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